Life is for living! Meet Melanie

Melanie Jeeves took her MS diagnosis as a sign to re-evaluate her life’s purpose

I sat across the table from my friend who was also the A and E consultant and who looked like he was going to cry.

“I am not a neurologist,” he started “but the MRI scan looks indicative of multiple sclerosis.”  My other friend, and also my Manager, sitting next to me, took a sharp intake of breath – she too looked like she was going to cry.  “Does that now mean I can have cannabis on prescription?” I said. They both burst out laughing.

That was in 2005, and this month it is 20 years since I was first diagnosed.

What that did for me changed my whole life. I no longer was driven to climb the greasy management pole, as I re-evaluated what was important to me.

The universe, clearly surprised by my ‘accepting’ attitude, decided to side swipe me again the following year with the death of my beloved father.

If anything, this highlighted to me that I was on the wrong path, and I needed to change direction and, I did.

I became passionate about palliative care and I studied holistic therapies. I looked at ways to make things better for other people. I completed my Masters. In truth I was lucky to have passed, but I did, without any concession for my MS, and I was proud of that achievement.

I learned massage, reflexology, reiki, metamorphic technique, manual lymphatic Drainage and reflex lymphatic drainage. I volunteered at the gynae cancer support group at the hospital where I was still working.

I learned the world did not revolve around me anymore than it did anyone else.

I didn’t take part in a clinical trial on the advice of another consultant friend, (this time a biomedical scientist). In fact, I did not take anything at all apart from the occasional antihistamine (they make you drowsy and at the end of the day when my nerve endings were firing off and that helped me to sleep).

 I tailored my work to what I was capable of, and eventually I had to stop. But fortunate enough to have a property, I downsized and moved to a cheaper location. I went from being a registered nurse at the top of my game to a carer at a hospice and I loved it. Without the previous job’s responsibility, I could provide the care I loved giving. I trained as a soul midwife, became a funeral celebrant, a complementary therapist and a Macmillan clinical nurse specialist, and I volunteered in bereavement support.

Now I am 66, and, at last, retired. I have not drawn benefits because I was lucky – I didn’t need to. I am still creating and decorating – future-proofing my home as I recognise that I am slowing up and not as able.

From originally living in the outskirts of London I now live in Scotland, in a cottage built in the 1700s. I shovel my own coal (there is no central heating),.and I walk my dog down to the harbour. If I am tired (and we all know what that type of tired is) then I rest on my bed and read, snuggled up with my dog and sometimes the cat comes and joins us. I count my innumerable blessings. Sometimes the most awful moments in life turn out to be a gift.