A helping paw when it was needed most

Mum of three, Debbie Harris, 65, has always kept fit, her role in the Army from the age of 17, followed by the police force, depended on it, but her future had other plans.

My work life always depended on my fitness levels. I was in the Army from 17 years old and joined the West Midlands Police Force in 1997 after my youngest child turned six. Interestingly, looking back, the first signs of something not quite right were always there.

In the army, I struggled to march or walk in a straight line – I was always being called up for marching out of line – but I just thought this was me and I was used to it. Looking further back even, my friends at school used to complain I walked into them when walking to school.

Later, when my son was a toddler and my girls were of school age I found I had a problem with tiredness but more than normal tiredness, it was like someone had pulled the plug and I couldn’t stay awake.

One time, I read a story to my son at 3pm, and the next thing I knew it was midnight and my ex had put the kids to bed and I was completely unconscious throughout the whole evening. Again, I put it down to over working and being a mum of three. I used to joke I could fall asleep on a clothesline.

When I joined the police, I was at the height of my fitness as I had to pass the entrance fitness test but still felt lazy as I was struggling with tiredness every day.

I divorced my husband and was on my own with the children doing shifts.

In 2003, I started to take my friendship with Steve, another officer, to the next level and in 2005 I moved in with him with my son. The girls were older and had their own babies.

It was December 2005 when life took its first curveball and everything changed. Steve and I planned Christmas shopping, so he took the two grandchildren to nursery which was an hour away from our home. On his way back, he was hit head on by another car who was driving far too fast.

He had been airlifted to Birmingham hospital, but I was told to expect the worst as he had already been resuscitated and was in emergency surgery to save his life. I remember feeling odd, like my nerves were hypersensitive – my sister touched my leg to comfort me and I nearly leapt out the chair like her hands were hot pokers.

Miraculously, Steve was strong enough to come home for Christmas. He had been in surgery for eight hours and they had to remove most of his bowel due to damage to his organs. He had two further major surgeries to repair the damage to his side where the seat belt had damaged.

During the first couple of months I was still working and taking time off to look after him. My sergeant was very understanding but it was putting me under a lot of stress as I worked an hour away from where we lived.

I decided to leave my job after 10 years to enable me to look after Steve properly. I had the opportunity to take on a pub which meant I could run that and look after him as well.

In 2007, I started noticing problems with my balance. I was bumping into the bar when serving, I was covered in bruises from walking into the doors, I just thought I was tired.

Then my face started to pull down like I was having a stroke. I couldn’t speak or swallow, lasting about five minutes, then it went back to normal. This happened five times a day. I hid it from Steve and the family for as long as I could until it happened in front of Steve. My doctor sent me straight for a scan and then saw the neurologist who gave me the results – multiple sclerosis (MS).

As my health deteriorated, Steve was now getting stronger. We managed to look after each other, balancing our good days and bad days together. I went back to teaching swimming and started my own dog grooming business.

We then found our place in Wales with three acres which was perfect for our animals. We have chickens, ducks, geese, two Pygmy goats, two alpacas, dogs and cats.

We live on the river so waking up every day looking at the river and hills and breathing in fresh air, even when I’m having bad days, is idyllic. It’s hard not to relax especially in the summer.

This worked well for a few years but then my health took a turn for the worst. I was on medication for reoccurring water infections and I had side effects where I woke up unable to breathe properly. I struggled to get air in and was rushed to hospital and put on antibiotics drips and oxygen.

I was in for three weeks and spent twelve months on oxygen and steroids with weekly hospital appointments. Eventually I slowly improved and managed to gain my strength.

We had decided to let Drizzle, Steve’s working cocker spaniel, have one litter and we kept two. One girl, called Rogue, became my pet and I did basic training with her. She mastered tricks and training within hours, I realized she was capable of so much more.

I suddenly had the idea she could help me. Not really knowing if this was possible, I Googled and read up on it, then managed to find a phone number for support dogs. I was put off a bit when the lady explained the process and the fact Rogue would go away for a month without me.

I was worried it would change our relationship, and she would come back different. But the staff were all fantastic from day one, my fears of leaving her disappeared as soon as she had a few hours with the trainer without me, she was relaxed and happy when she came back it was obvious she had enjoyed the morning,

It was hard when she was away from me, but the trainer sent me videos and pictures to keep me informed. When she returned, our relationship was no longer dog and owner, we became a team. We both learned to read each other – she is so tuned in to my needs; she loves to learn new skills and never ceases to amaze me with how quickly she picks things up.

I show her things once then she masters it. We have a lot of fun while she’s helping me as her personality is cheeky at times, and she has such a funny side, it’s hard not to laugh at the way she works. When she’s not working, she loves to play with our other dogs or snuggle with me and cuddle.

I would say to anyone who is in a similar position, trust the process. The trainers and staff bring the best out in the dogs they work with. Whenever we go to Support Dogs, Rogue gets really excited.

Having Rogue really does help me do more. I had lost my confidence after my health had deteriorated. My husband is my carer in every sense of the word. He does most of the work around the house and land, yet his health isn’t great either.

I have mobility problems and struggle with constant high-level pain. He takes me to my appointments – I wouldn’t go out without him – which means he’s restricted in what he can do.

I have got stronger especially since I’ve gone back to swimming but the hardest part for me is showering and dressing after. In the water my pain level drops but as soon as I get out the pain is back worse than before.

Having Rogue to help me makes such a difference, I get in the shower room, set the bag on the floor with towels and clothes, sit on the stool, shower, then Rogue brings the towels and clothes as I ask for them.

It means I can rest while I’m getting dressed and not walk on wet floors. We also go shopping for small amounts of food which helps Steve in between his big shopping days. I hang a bag on my walker and if I drop anything I know Rogue will pick it up for me. She also opens doors if they have buttons to press.

I do have fatigue, so I don’t fight it and by 5pm I go to bed to relax and take pain meds. I use this time to do crafts. Walking is like dragging blocks of concrete, and the pain levels are very high. I don’t get a full night sleep as the pain wakes me regularly, but Rogue is always lying on the bed next to me.

She fetches things for me like a small bag that I put my phone, meditation, keys, and other small items in during the daytime. Plus, of course, her treat bag. She’s learning to recognise certain words and usually gets it right.

We visit my dad every week who is 94 and is very reliant on others to help him with daily tasks. When we’re there, Rogue will empty his washing machine that the carers had put on, and helps me put the items into the dryer.

My life has changed so much since her training with Support Dogs. Steve has more time to do other things and I’m able to be more independent with the help of my girl, not only physically but mentally.

She gives me confidence to be myself again.

If like Debbie, you’re unsure at first if you’re symptoms might be MS, have a read of our helpful Choices booklet